Taking in A New Culture. An Exercise in Perception.

This summer we travelled to Beijing for our family holiday. The moment we arrived at Beijing Airport, the heat, the humidity, the dusty smell in the air, and the chaos hit us very hard. I immediately had the sensation of traveling back to my childhood.  Everything was so familiar. My husband’s first reaction was, “there are too many Chinese here”. I found it funny, “of course, we are in China” I said. But then, I realized what he meant – Beijing’s population density far exceeds any of the European countries we have visited and lived in. For him, this culture shock was something that we experienced differently because of our different experiences. It is interesting to me to explore how we experience our environment differently based on our past experiences. Expectations, and comfort level for different environments can drastically impact how well you live, work and thrive in a new country. You simply see through a different lense, depending on how you grew up.

Beijing is rapidly becoming one of the most expensive cities in the world much like New York and Tokyo. Wealth and poverty are evident everywhere. Many skyscrapers stand closely together side by side with traditional architecture like “Hu Tong”. Beijing is a place where modernisation coexists with history in harmony. I am still in love with Beijing. My experience visiting was met with a sense of home and inspiration.

For my husband, there were three main aspects that struck him during his first visit to Beijing.

Traffic is crazy
The moment you step foot outside, the flurry of movement hits you. Buses, taxies, motorbikes, scooters, and bicycles come from every direction toward you. You get the sense that survival requires complete focus. While this environment caused constant stress and fear for my husband, it did not bother me.

Shopping malls are everywhere
Beijing is heaven for shopping. The malls are leisure centres. They are usually tall buildings equipped with five or six floors dedicated to premium brand stores. Moreover, they often offer a food court that takes up a complete floor of cafes. Another floor complete with game centres and a cinema. Quite a number of them also offer a high-end play grounds for small children, several beauty salons and education centres. Several of them are directly connected to metro stops for convenience. One can truly spend whole day in a mall for pleasure, and young people even date in the mall. I must admit that I miss this concept a lot in the Netherlands.

Curiosity towards westerners
Chinese people have a genuine interest in anyone who is western. Anyone even looking western is interesting. It is common for English-speaking Chinese people to want to chat with westerners. They will be interested in where the person comes from, and they often request to take a photo with western strangers in the street. And in some rare cases, they may take a photo of you without your permission or knowledge. It can feel as if you are a touristic attraction. While this can feel invasive and forward to a westerner, this behaviour stems from a genuine interest and admiration towards a different look and culture. They do not mean to offend or annoy anyone. A polite request to stop is often all that is needed.  Overall Chinese people are very open and friendly, and you can always ask them kindly for space/privacy whenever you are uncomfortable.

Both the expat and their Chinese clients, colleagues, friends, and neighbours benefit when they can reach a better understanding of one another.  Understanding these and other cultural differences can really help an expat living in China have a better integration experience. Having friends and/or family members explain the culture as experiences unfold drastically changes your perception of the reality you are experiencing. When expats experience culture shock without someone they trust walking them through it, they can feel isolated, confused, angry, and frustrated.

While everyone is not as lucky to have a Chinese wife guiding them through their expat experience, I recommend new expats find a group of local friends or expats to help through their transition. Formal programs like language and cultural education can really help expats prepare for what to expect – even before they arrive in China.